The Bargain Queen Finds Her Kingdom

I turned my life upside down, got divorced, and moved out to Oregon for one reason: Bargains.  That's right.  The thrill of the hunt had worn off in St. Louis, and besides, I had an apartment full of lovely furniture and accessories that I hand-picked, and no real driving need to bring my skills to the next level.  However, beginning a new life with nothing more than the degree in your suitcase and a bank balance that perpetually hovers near financial ruin  is an excellent opportunity to start your training for the clearance Olympics. 

And in the almost two (TWO!) years that I have been here now, I have truly begun to perfect my art.  Tops for $2, pants for $5,  farberware pans for $10, sheets for $20--I can spot a red clearance sign a football field away, and if the matching piece to an item I want is 6 aisles away, I will find it.  I have plunder going-out of business sales, talked my way into mattress clearance bargains, and driven shares of Target ever higher. 

There have of course, been some missteps, such as the car stereo that is currently languishing in its box, uninstalled, due to faulty circuitry in my jeep and laziness on my part.  There is the $150 dollar wool rug marked down to $30, savored for all of an hour before all four animals claimed it as the best sleeping spot in the house. But, by and large, I have come to relish and rejoice in my ability to transform bargain hunting into something magical. 

During a time when so much else has gone wrong, awry, and down right nuts, shopping has been a form of stress relief for me.  Nothing gives me renewed faith in my worth as a woman than an excellent haul. Seriously, it's an illness, but seeing as our house was EMPTY a year ago, and still has wide swathes of emptiness that tumbleweeds rattle though, I think we have a ways to go before I'm going off to shopper's anonymous. 

And this weekend, this weekend I hit the mother lode.  Freak and I have commiserated about the strange phenomena that is Salem yard sales which overprice things by at least 50%, and the true bargains for a buck or two that we were used in the Midwest  are nowhere to be found.  Even on Craig's list people seem to expect top dollar for their used, cat-peed sofa,  and thus we have lived without much in the way of furniture.  We still lack a couch, cheap computer desks and office chairs being a higher priority, and we're just gradually filling in our many, many needs. 

Enter City Liquidators.  Down by the river in Portland, run by "Uncle Walt"--this is Willy Wonka on Crack, selling furniture, dishes, luggage, Easter decorations, serving dishes, office supplies, lights, and everything else you can possibly imagine, and much that you can not spread over two buildings, three stories each. 

I was hoping we might find *a* couch.  Maybe something worth seeing. Instead, from the moment we entered, we found ourselves running from room to room overwhelmed by the largess before us, the amazing multitude of true bargains.  A true bargain is not something cheap that you do not need, but rather something that you love priced below what you would be willing to pay for it. 

It is the kind of place that makes you loose your inhibitions, calling out to your significant other across the store, with no thought of propriety.  It is the sort of store where as you wind your way through never-ending tunnels, navigating ancient stairwells, dreams begin to run amok.  Businesses have folded, schools have been remodeled, and you, you are the lucky recipient of all this metal and glass and wood. 

Enormous pull-down maps of the world for $25.  Office side chairs for $5.  Little kindergartner desks and chairs.  Ancient wooden roll-top desks.  Modern furniture unleashed from showrooms and loading docks, leather couches for $500, still wearing their name brand stickers with the original four digit prices.  It was, in short, my personal mecca. 

Disneyland for wavybrains, where Freak had to keep reassuring that YES WE CAN COME BACK, just to get me beyond the paralysis of indecision and the deep depression of leaving all the bargains behind. 

We drove home sated, filled with the kind of satisfaction that Ted Nugent must feel after killing a particularly defenseless animal.   Our tailgate rattled incessantly, wired to the trailer hitch with room to accommodate our kills.  Out of all the many things that we WANTED to bring home, we ended up with a few, but entirely worthy finds: 

An Anchor-Hocking Platinum Plated Cake Stand, with Cover for $10 (I have not seen ANY cake stands since I began looking months ago for less than $20)
An office bulletin board, larger than my desk for $1
A set of three wall-mounted in-boxes for $2
A glass pie plate for $1.50
A coffee mug warmer for $2
And the piece de resistances . . . . . (drum roll please) : 

A set of 4 bright-yellow school lockers, working, for $9.99 a locker, for a total of $40.00.  A complete set of lockers.  Yes, we are dorks. Yes we love the little shelves, the little hooks for coats, the idea of a cubby for each member of the household,  canine included.  Yes it is heavy and a bitch to move.  And yes, we are entirely delighted because it is just *so* us. 

And for me, for my writing office, a school desk for $15--chair with desk attached just like I took every standardized test, every college final,  the LSAT at.  Yes I am a nerd.  No, I don't plan to address my love of school objects and office supplies in therapy. 

I came for  the bargains, and the sun shone down on Freak and I.  We dined late and well on Thai food, proud of so fine a hunt, amazed at how successful we have become at hunting and gathering for our new life.  It was a good day.

Comments

[Lynda]

My goodness! You make me want to fly in just to have as much fun as you did - sounds like a complete paradise for those of us who love to shop and love a bargain, too.

I really enjoy your writing style - I plan on coming back regularly. Michele sent me, you know... and I'm glad she did!

[wavybrains]

Glutton for punishment . . . heading back today :P Didn't get nearly enough yesterday :P

[Andrea]

I wish there were bargains in Pittsburgh.

~sniffle~

oh and Hello, Michele sent me

[Old Horsetail Snake]

A shopper after my own heart. My wife and I used to go to garage sales; even held a couple (made good bucks because we didn't put out any trash). We once went to a place in Portland that had the detritus from tearing apart Liberty ships. Got a huge aluminum pan for $5 that has seen countless piles of my homemade apple butter and salsa (different batches). My sister-in-law started out as a garage sale freako and now HAS AN ANTIQUE STORE in Bend, started off by all her garage sale collecting. Sorry to ramble. But since we're both Oregonians that should be okay, just once.

[tommy]

I saw you on Michele's place and just had to come by and say hi to someone called wavybrains.

So umm...Hi

and they remodeled the auditorium to my old high school so we got a row of seats. I don't know why, but I do understand some of the school supply fetish.

[bari]

BARGAINS!! I just did a post last Sunday on wholesale shopping! I wouldn't have the title of shoehound if it weren't for eBay! You are a woman after my own heart! LOL Thanks for stopping by!

[wavybrains]

OOOh other bargain lovers!! Welcome :P

They had a bunch of old auditorium seats too. Unfortunately my jeep is only so big . . .

[wavybrains]

Oh and will my fellow shoppers back me up that $300 for a modern looking NEW sofa and $500 for a small sectional IS an excellent bargain. Kevindeus is the FREAK who needs convincing :P :P

[Michele]

Let's make a deal:

I will back you up on the sofa and sectional deal AND you back me up on the $350 for a paor of Manolo's is a super-fantastic price. Deal?

Let us make one more deal:

I say "Hello, Michele sent me." And you agree that TAG you are it.

[wavybrains]

$350 for a pair of Manolo's is a STEAL. Especially if they are black ;). Now, myself, I would get 35 pairs of payless for that, but I like variety :P I'm learning on quality :)

[Daisyhead]

Love those bargains! Oh, and Michele sent me!

[Bubblehead]

I love Oregon, except for all the leftist kooks, but that's just me.

Michele sent me.

[Kimberly]

Hi Wavybrains, Michele sent me (again).

Oh, what fun! I'm glad you and Freak had a such shopping success in Portland... sounds like that's where I should be shopping, rather than (somewhat overpriced) Seattle.

And yes, $300/$500 for sofa/sectional are really good prices.

[wavybrains]

Seattle--Woman, you have IKEA--my MECCA!!!! Yes, much else up there is overpriced, but you have IKEA :P

[bonnie]

Yay for shopping successes! Speaking out for the thrift shops in Seattle--they are a boon to my large family! I used to live in St. Louis, too, and love being transplanted in the beautiful Pacific NW! You practice yoga?

Michele sent me and I'm grateful for that!

[wavybrains]

Yes, I am a yoga devotee. You have some fabulous studios in Seattle--great workshops :)

[Freak]

hmmmm. we may go back for those gym lockers. they look brand new...

..or the entire wall of post office boxes.. it does have potential.

btw. their website is: http://www.cityliquidators.com/