The "I am Getting Help" Mantra

So, if after reading the last post, you came away thinking I needed help, you were in good company.  And, I am nothing if not obedient.  So, I am getting help.  I am starting back with the wonderful counselor who helped me two years ago, and I am working with my doctors to find out what is causing the horrid mood swings.  Let this be a PSA that the first step towards getting help is the hardest.  Once it was done, and the calls were made, I felt so much better.  Medical professionals were telling me that I should not have to suffer like this, and I felt validated instead of plum crazy. 

I have not made up my mind what if anything I will do on the meds front.  I have yet to have the neurological test that Dr. Godlike wants, and Dr. Realist threw a monkey wrench in that theory on Friday, but I am slowly opening my mind up to the possibility of antidepressants or mood stabilizers.  The pros are right: I should not have to suffer like this.  So, I'm going into counseling and meeting with the new Dr at that clinic with an open mind.  My focus right now is on getting better. 

I'd like to say that I made the calls, and the sky opened up, and the birdies chirped and suddenly my world was no longer ending, but that wasn't the case.  What is the case, is that my productivity is gradually inching up again through a two part mantra: "I have a real problem" and "I am getting help.  I am getting help."  This may be my most Stuart Smalley-ist post ever, but this little mantra is keeping me going right now.  Knowing that help is out there, and that I WILL get better has given me a push to get a few things done in the last couple of days.  Things I can be proud of.  There is still a lot of work to be done, and I am wary of this being another upswing with a downside still to come, but I feel hopeful.  I am not alone, I am not crazy, and I am getting help.  This is enough for today.   

Comments

[wine]

Good luck on your quest to find sanity in an insane world. If it wasn't for my little boy I think I would have gone insane long ago. Meds can help lots of folks but they are not the long term solution to depression and anxiety. I think you know deep down that you don't really need that shit anyways. Just throw yourself into a focus and perform to your highest and you will no doubt feel better about life and where your at. Not that my advice meens to much, but I believe every person is quality. Every person no matter how f'd up has the potential to say "f" it I'm gonna be happy and do the "f" what I please. Good luck once again!

[Stephanie]

Well that's great! I know I feel better now! I wish you much success, and we'll continue to support you in your journey!

[shan]

I know it sounds so, so cliche...but...one day at a time! When I feel overwhelmed and/or sad, it helps to just do bit by bit by bit - and with every small thing I do, I usually feel a little better. Sometimes it's one minute at a time, but hey...who's counting?!

Best of luck with it all!