Life is a Banquet

Torturing the Innocent

The finish line of the novel is actually in sight.  However, I'm having a moral conundrum--how much do I torture these guys at the end. My original planned ending is seeming a little . . . harsh. 

Option 1: Category style ending. Wrap it up with new realizations for both characters, happy shiny (expected) ending
Option 2: Upping the drama--create the risk of something very bad happening, but wrap it up with a happy bow and good helping of risk-be-gone.
Option 3: Extra Special Torture Sauce--This is the planned ending. But something (okay a FEW) very bad things are going to happen to the characters--things that don't magically get better. They do get a happy, shiny ending, but it's not the one you might expect.

A lot of writers in my genre don't seem to cross the very-bad-things line: major characters don't die, the goal isn't lost,  nothing is taken away that isn't returned later.  I'm afraid if I cross the very-bad-thing line, my story won't be as appealing to readers (Ego piping up to add: and agents! and contest judges!)

This is weighing heavily on my mind right now because the book waiting in the wings BEGINS with something horrid happening--definetely one of those very bad things.  The story is how the heroine makes peace with said very bad thing. 

So readers, other writers, interested folk--weigh in--how much torture is too much torture? Say you pick up a book that claims to have a high degree of sexy fun.  Are you (or the reader) going to be let down if something very bad happens to the character? Do you want (need) a rosy-ending?  Are there certain bad things that should NEVER happen in a romance? 

Gift of the Magi

The bad: Santa brought me the flu as an early Christmas present (This is what I get for skipping the shot this year. PSA: The shots really work.) So I've spent four days huddled on couch and bed, watching bad TV and filling two legal pads with scenes for the WIP (to be typed later). 

The really bad: Why, you might ask, was my beloved laptop appendage not in bed with me? It broke. Kaput. Blue screen of death squealing into the night. Kidneys will be sold to get new one.

The sweet: This was a very broke Christmas at Chez Wavybrains. It was very UnChristmas thanks to the flu as well--no soup, no brunch, no cookies.  But, Freak saved Christmas. He saw me admire a bag that my friend had made for a craft show. Unbeknown to me, he traded her one of his beloved Roombas (from the refurbished programming fleet) for the bag. I could not be more touched if he really DID sell a kidney for me. Oh and the bag is kickass too.

The also sweet: Amidst all my crying about missing my family on Christmas, my brothers and my mother took pictures of their Christmas eve, and sent them to me so that I'd feel like I was there. I, of course, cried harder with the sweetness of it. 

The funny: My brothers have blog aversion so I can't show you the pictures of this one. But, trust me, it's even funnier than it sounds. What do you get a broke college student for Christmas? Money is the logical choice.  But, older brother Monkey thought that was too BORING to give younger brother Mattydog.  Instead, he emerged Christmas morning, in full mafia gear: Trench coat, suit/tie, sunglasses, toy guns, and a briefcase.  Mattydog opened the briefcase at "gunpoint." The contents: overflowing monopoly money disguising $50 in singles that Mattydog had to dig for.  If you know these two, the mafia reference is also an in-joke to their favorite pastime: Turning their SIMS neighborhood into a festering comic Sopranos episode. 

Hope your Christmas was better, but just as sweet and funny!

What I'm learning from the Crapometer

I'm totally addicted to Miss Snark's Crapometer right now. While I disagree with some of her day-to-day advice and opinions on the blog, I'm finding the crapometer very insightful. (Insights that would have been good . . .oh say 30 query letters and 10 rejections ago . . . but better late than never). Because you may not be willing to sift through 700 hooks (I'm number 367 and not up yet if anyone's counting), I thought I might share some of what I'm gleaning:

• I wouldn't mind being an agent. This is actually fun. But, I also have new respect for the people who have to sift through this stuff day after day. I understand the wait times so much better now.
• 90% of stuff is a problem with the plot not the writing.
• Details matter. Specifics matter. Nameless faceless evil is boring.
• Everyone has their pet peeves--you never know when you're going to hit up against someone's particular hot button. Miss Snark's pet peeves may not be the same as other agents (I'm seeing some differences from agents I've heard from at conferences--the fact that she doesn't usually handle romance may be a big factor here).
• My pet peeve: Inaccurate legal/crime plots. I don't believe that you have to go to law school or be a beat detective to write good crime novels (although it certainly helps--see the best seller lists), but a basic understanding of criminal law is not to much to ask. I'm willing to forgive inaccuracies if someone's writing a white collar conspiracy novel and doesn't understand SEC filing requirements. But, criminal law is pretty accessible even for lay people.  Community colleges offer basic criminal law classes, there are websites, books for the lay person, and it's fairly easy to find public defenders/cops/DA's to interview.
• There's no substitute for reading in your genre. And it's impossible to read too much in your genre. Sometimes I feel guilty for how much I read, but after watching the crapometer, I see the benefit of so much reading: I can spot a derivative/knock-off plot really quickly--and I can keep them out of my own work. Also, the more you read, the more you know the conventions of your genre (i.e. having the hero and heroine sleep together in the first scene and fall madly in love is tough sell for a romance--something better blow up in their faces really quickly, having a middle aged hero and a under 18 heroine is another tough sell unless you're Beatrice Small or another historical writer, YA books need a fresh, young voice).
• The formula for a good hook also comes down to a good plot. Realizing this has helped me to uncover some challenged in my current WIP. Which will be torched upon editing:
  • What does your MC have to do or decide? Why does the reader care? What's at stake?
  • High stakes are crucial. And the stakes need to be both internal and external.
  • An event is not the same thing as a plot. 
  • But, a hook is more than just a run-down of plot. 
• A few of the formula's Miss Snark has outlined:
  • MC is. Problem is. MC must do something to solve it that will. Consequence of solving it creates a new problem which is.
  • MC discovers X and is morally outraged by Y. Has to overcome Z in order for all L to occur/not occur.
  • X is MC. Y is antagonist. Z happens, all L breaks loose. If MC doesn't solve Q then R starts, if does then L squared happens. 
• Based on all this obsession, what have I learned about my own writing:
  • I overuse cliches.
  • I tend to speak in general terms rather than specifics in the query, but my synopsis is too much of a blow-by-blow plot outline.
  • The stakes aren't high enough. This is the number one problem I'm seeing with my WIP.
  • My synopsis/query/hook needs to give more reason to care about the MC. 
  • Conflict has to be clear right off the bat
  • Hook writing is damn hard. Back to the drawing board.

Any of you tuning into the crapometer? 

Professor Wavybrains Rides Again

I got the job. Not only did I get the job, but I got the textbooks, the handbook, and the dates for orientation.  I'll be teaching three classes starting the first part of January.  I'm very excited. This is a school that I've wanted to be a part of since landing in Oregon.  Plus, ye gods willing I should still have time to write. 

This job is a double blessing because it's also on a major busline that runs by our house. Why is this a blessing you ask? Shouldn't you be back to driving,  Wavybrains?  You would think so, the three month anniversary of my injury having passed last week. Unfortunately, the x-rays today showed another four weeks of winter--it is healing, but infinitesimally slow.  The torn ligament(s) have not finished reattaching and the bone still has a small gap.  So, I'll be the professor otherwise known as Darth Vader. "Clomp. Clomp. Here's your homework. Clomp. Clomp."

Do any of you have little pre-job interview rituals? Mine include extra-long shower, a new item of make-up and a haircut.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that 4 of my last 5 cuts have been job inspired.  This is one of my favorites and one of the cheapest--$10 at SuperClips. And lo, I look just like my mother. I'm finally old. I never used to look like her :) And no, I can't show you. Clanna's blog shy. 

Before                  

After

Last Minute Gift Ideas

If you're looking for some last minute gift ideas, I've got the mother of all Christmas book reviews up at our chapter blog, with links to amazon for my favorite picks. 

If your order falls short for super-saver shipping, why not consider adding a children's book or two to your order and donating it later to your local literacy program/shelter/favorite charity? 

If like me, you're short of holiday cash, cull your shelves for unread/new looking books. Books are always great gifts! 

Send Good Energy

Interview just called. Really want this one. Send good vibes my way. Will tell more when I can. 

My own Private NaNo

I just hit 50,000 words on my WIP.  I started this book on Nov. 10--so this is pretty darn close to being my own NaNoWriMo. Now, I just have to keep going and finish this darn thing. (Which I have wanted to burn/delete at various points in the last week. But that's a whole different post.) How crazy is it that I can't wait to start editing this puppy? Must write more, but had to share my word count love. 

Our Christmas Letter

Somehow, I sat down to write the usual, "Freak got a new job, Wavybrains broke her foot, tidings of great joy to you and yours." But, instead, this is what came out:

    “Excuse me, Santa, sir, did you see the Christmas letter from the Gabbert family this year?” Fergus struggled to match Santa’s wide strides.  A size three elf shoe could only move so fast on packed snow.
    “The who?” Santa’s red face didn’t look so jolly as he turned towards Fergus. “Oh them. Lump of coal again.”
    Fergus reminded himself not to cower in the face of Santa’s bluster. “But, Santa, Kevin got a new job. He’s working for the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife.”
    “Send him a pair of hip waders then.”
    “Not that kind of job. He’s working as a programmer. And he programs robots as a hobby too! His code appeared in the book, Hacking Roomba.”
    “He has six robotic vacuum cleaners in various stages of repair, and you seriously think--“
    “And he took Spanish and computer illustration classes--“
    “Fergus. I’ve got a back order of Etch-a-sketches to deal with. Just spit it out. What does Kevin want this year?”
    Fergus shrank back into the pine needles. “A nap.”
    Santa’s eyes opened wide in surprise. “Well then. Grab one from The Hall of Overworked Remedies and toss it on the sleigh.”
    That taken care of, Santa doubled his pace towards Factory E.
    “Santa,” Fergus wheezed as he jogged to keep up.
    “Are you still here?”
    “It’s about Bethany--Mrs. Cunningham Gabbert, Sir--“
    “Hmmpf.” Santa didn’t slow down.
    “She taught as an adjunct professor--“
    “We make those in Building A with the other puppets,” Santa interrupted.
    “She finished her second novel--“
    “Form rejection letters are found in The Hall of Thankless Endeavors.”
    “She’s knitted non-stop this year. She finished--“
    “Offer her a job in Wardrobe. Blitzen and Comet could use new earmuffs.”
    “She’s active on Library Board and with her writing groups. She went on two writing retreats--“
    Santa stopped suddenly and Fergus crashed into his middle. “Bowl full of jelly, my pointy ears,” Fergus thought. “More like bowl of concrete.” He rubbed his head.
    “Sorry, Sir. My apologies.”
    “Fergus,” Santa lectured. “Do you know how many other tasks I have to handle before the 24th. Get to the point.”
    “She broke her foot in September. She’d like to be cast free in 2007.”
    “What am I? A doctor now too? Add a pair of pink crutches to the sleigh.”
    They finally reached the factory doors. “Santa?” Fergus’s voice cracked.
    “Tell me we’re done with the Gabbert’s,” Santa ordered.
    “Caylis learned to play soccer. She’s outgrown the puppy crazies.”
    “Busy bones. Next.”
    “Mungy mainly hangs out with the dog, but Mingy’s turned out to be a first-rate mouser.”
    Santa smiled broadly. “Well finally. Someone in that house is earning their keep.”
    And with that Santa was gone in a wink. “Next year, Dweezil the three-eared elf can handle the Gabbert’s,” Fergus resolved.

Site Remodeling & Poll

*Feedback in action--Thanks to the great feedback I've gotten, I've widened the text box, increased the typefont, and added a handy word count counter. Thanks for all the suggestions!*

I'm pleased to unveil my latest skin. And, if you're not reading this on bloglines, you'll notice the BIG change. Yes, that's my name up there for the world to see.  I thought about this long and hard--so many people are going to password only sites or retreating further into blogland anonymity--but truth be told, I've always pretty much put myself out there. Wavybrains has always been reachable by my name urls as well and most of my family are among my lurkers--the difference is in putting my name on the masthead and deciding that this will be my permanent author site--not just a placeholder for the domain names. 

I've tried to streamline things, added feeds from the other two blogs I participate in, and have given the book reviews more room to grow.  I'm not done with the remodel quite yet, but I'm pretty pleased with how it's shaping up.  What do you think of the new look? Love it? Hate it? Dig the logo? 

And now for the quiz, which is one I've wanted to have for a while now, and now that I'm fessing up the name thing, I finally can.

So my full name is Bethany Cecilia Cunningham Gabbert.  No publisher in their right mind is going to slap that on a book. A law book perhaps (it looks smashing on my articles) but, a young adult book? A romantic comedy? I own and am prepared to buy a few other domain names in the search for the right author name. So cast your votes: What pseudo works for you:

1. Cecilia Roberts (my current favorite--my middle name plus Freak's)
2. Cecilia Mahoney (family last name)
3. Bethany Cunningham (I hate the Cunningham, but using the maiden name is very popular among authors)
4. Cecilia Coffey (another family last name)
5. Bethany Bartlett (Yet another family last name)
6. Cecilia Kane (yes, my family tree has tons of great last names).

Weigh in on the website re-do and the great pseudo debate!

Dec. 4, 1978

Alas, I am another year older today. 28. In fact, I have decided that this may be last birthday for a while. Next year will be the first anniversary of my 28th birthday.  And so on. Because, gods this march to 30 (which I swore would never bug me) suddenly seems to be moving at jumbo jet speed.

I turned 27 deeply unhappy with my lack of progress on my second book, floundering at working from home, and desperate to have a kid ASAP. Most of 27 was held hostage by depression. I ended 27 with four terms of teaching under my belt, a second book, and the best emotional health in four years.

So what amazing things did I discover in my 27th year:

1)  Empathy is a cultivated skill
2) Depression causes way more havoc than you think. Medication does work. 
3) Rejection hurts a whole lot less than not trying
4) Teaching is amazingly gratifying work for little money
5) Writing is even more gratifying work for even less money
6) Yarn can be a bonafide addiction
7) Cables, lace, fair isle, oh my! Hats, booties, socks, vests, this was the year of knitting.
8) A broken foot can be a blessing, a curse, and a giant pain in the neck
9) I can indeed write a second book
10) Writing retreats should be covered by health insurance, they're that potent
11)All hail the works of Suzanne Brockmann. Not since high school have I consumed an author's entire backlist in less than 3 months.
12) Other authors discovered in my 27th year: Shannon McKenna, Christina Skye, Jennifer Skully, Kimberly Raye, and Susan Donovan.  This was one of my best years as far as reading went.
13) Blog reading is not a vocation.
14) All those folks who say "Marriage shouldn't be work, you shouldn't have to work at being married," probably aren't married.
15) Sugar Free Coffee Flavored Ice Cream is all that and more.
16) Yes, you can make it through four years of college and three years of law school without being a coffee drinker, then turn into a daily coffee addict with just a few months of teaching.
17) TV is way more fun with netflix.
18) Gilmore Girls, House, Battlestar, Prison Break, Six Feet Under, Firefly, Pioneer House
19) Light therapy really does work
20) My laptop is not, in fact, an extra appendage
21) We can halve our budget. Make that third. Make that . . . And the sky isn't falling yet. 
22) Relative poverty is actually preferable to a wide range of alternatives
23) A dog at two is even more fun than a puppy
24) Kids can wait a little bit longer
25) Life is more meaningful with community.
26) Asking for help is a brave option
27) Moderation and steady progress is way more fulfilling than living life at the extremes

What did you learn in your 27th year? Not there yet? What goals do you have for 27? Good goals for 28? (And yes I do have a number of things I want to do by 30. Gulp.)