Life is a Banquet

1001 Words

1001 Words
Originally uploaded by wavybrains.

1001 Words

1001 Words
Originally uploaded by wavybrains.

No News is Good News

*Warning Boring Doctor's Report Ahead. Cute Husband Mentioned.*

So yesterday was the eagerly anticipated first doctor's visit.  Freak took off work, because you know, he doesn't want to look like a slacker in the gestational department. Off we went, clutching our P__ journal filled with questions, to navigate the mass of construction and confusing parking situation.  A sherpa, a llama, and two energy bars later, we finally arrived at the hallow doctor's office.

Where we were immediately confronted with Paperwork #1= "Hi! This how much we estimate the next nine months will cost!". Even with insurance, Beta will cost us $$$. Without insurance Doctor's Fees = $3800.  With Insurance = $400. Labs, hospital, etc not included. Seeing as how discussing delivery seemed rather presumptious, I drew a lot of dirty looks when I asked "What happens if things don't . . . you know . . . continue."

After evil billing person released us to the waiting room, Freak read a pamplet on hypnobirthing class and I knitted socks.  I'm sure more than one pregnant teenager (there were several) was completely freaked out by us. Heck, my cane alone is pretty freaky. 

Then we got, Paperwork #2, otherwise known as Scary Medical History.  "Good news, all these horrible things? You're at very low risk! Would you like screening anyway?" At which point, I was just like, "Hey, um can we get to the ultrasound now, please? Cause, uh, you're starting to freak me out?"
Perky Paperwork Nurse looked slightly stunned and said, "Oh, low risk pregnancies don't get an ultrasound till 18 weeks."  Freak grinned broadly at hearing that we are low risk. I had to admit, it was kinda cool to be lumped with "everyone else" and not the PCOS/Diabetes cool kids anymore. This joy lasted about 5 seconds until I realized that she meant I might have to wait something like ELEVEN MORE WEEKS just to make we're really in business here. 

As steam poured forth from my ears, Freak gently explained how I have "anxiety issues and read too many blogs where bad things happen." They shared a knowing smile, and I got my ultrasound. NEXT WEDNESDAY.  After we see the heartbeat next Wednesday, I promise to chill the frak down and throughly enjoy my low risk status.  I'm going to try to enjoy the next week too. And not stew.  She says everything looks "perfect" and "right on track." So I suppose, I have to use my really weak patience and trust muscles and just WAIT. 

We also learned that six weeks, five days IS too early to hear the heartbeat on doppler (she didn't even try). Not that this will stop us from running to Baby Beat to pre-order.  Hell,the six month subscription is sounding pretty nice.   The nurse said how a lot of people "really wish there was a window down there." I was all like, "Yes, how do I order one?"

So the real fun came when I got to give five vials of blood. I got to skip vial six because I've got a free pass from the glucose tolerance exam.  Which is nice because I didn't even have to stomp my foot to get it.

Finally, we got a big totebag filled with free Pregnancy magazines, resource guides, The Pregnancy Book, a guide to our hospital, and all manner of prenatal vitamin samples.  Free stuff! Okay. Maybe the visit wasn't COMPLETELY useless.

And maybe I do need to chill out. I'm working on it. A wise person told me yesterday that my "biggest risk is of having a healthy baby." And she's right. And it is just so completely terrifying and amazing  and wonderful. And completely routine to my clinic. Cause you know, women do this everyday. I still think it's pretty spectacular though. 

So, until proven otherwise, I'm just going to assume--We're having a baby. Freak called himself "Beta's Daddy" before he left for work this morning and I just melted. Big puddle of goo. Estimated Due Date: September 15th.  Gender: To remain a surprise (yeah there was a form for that too!). Plans" To be made, tentatively, but joyously.  And I STILL WANT THAT ULTRASOUND.   Ommmmmmmmmm. Ommmmm.   

A pound of flesh

Step One: Admit that you have (prior to the Christmas miracle) gained an assload of weight. Or more precisely, an ass.  And a half. Give this weight gain over to your higher power.
Step Two: Buy a few new things to cope with broken foot in October--pants for PT and PJ's.
Step Three: Seek Reconciliation between PT wardrobe and work wardrobe. Fail Miserablely.
Step Four: Spend first two weeks of new job hiding behind coat.  Plead with higher power to magically shed poundage.
Step Five: Higher power answers in the form of two little lines.
Step Six: Accept that poundage may not be going anywhere before September. Lose two pounds due to new vegetable addiction. 
Step Seven: Revoke acceptance when trying on clothes. 
Step Eight: Realize that going naked to work is not, in fact, a viable option
Step Nine: Buy a few very stretchy pairs of dress paints for cheap cheap cheap. Still hate the size.
Step Ten:  Soothe your soul at Old Navy's clearance rack. Buy your first two pairs of M* pants. Hide them under the seat for the drive home. Immediately remove tags. Hold with tongs when looking at them.

Only Step that really matters: Keep hope alive. And look good doing it. 

(And for my fellow bargain seekers: Total Spent: $40. Total saved: $230 dollars. 4 pairs of pants (all dress), two very nice tunic topics, and a bra.)

Crazy is as Crazy Does

I am apparently loosing my mind.  Now, I've never HEARD of early-onset dementia as a possible p___ symptom, so perhaps I just am well and truly crazy.  How else can I explain?

• Strapping my cast on the wrong leg and not noticing until I was upstairs trying to put on my shoe.
• Telling the same person twice.
• Losing the ability to complete a sentence.
• Being strangely relieved at each and every symptom and incredibly dismayed when there are none.  Also, each and every symptom is evaluated as a potential harbinger of doom.  I don't give myself an out here.
• Fits of random giddy. 
• Tone of my book changing--seriously--my voice is stuck somewhere in Cincinnati trying to get  a flight home  while my poor brain eeeks out a word at a time
• Becoming a total iVillage junkie in less than a week.  Remember that whole plan I had to kick my internet addiction? And how well it worked for three months? Almost four? All bets are off now.  I seriously find posts with such dizzying, garish signatures more interesting than well . . .anything.  IQ drops 10 points after every visit.  We're talking multiple visits a day too.  I expect to be a vegetable sometime very soon.
• Developing a fondness for commercials. This after almost a decade of not watching network TV except in cases of national emergencies/elections/Olympics. 
• The sudden urge to own Midwest Real Estate. 
• Inability to finish a movie without falling asleep.  But having insomnia most nights. 
• Turning each bathroom visit into a religious experience. Tea leaves have been less examined than my T.P. Which, I know is way TMI, but still, I expected to be worshiping the porcelain god, just not quite like this. 

So, yeah, I'm still here. 5 weeks and some odd days. And freaking crazy.  I'd promise something about my job v soon, but I'm still working on the whole ability to think-about-something else thing.  Soon though.  I hope.  Otherwise, Beta (as in Beta testing) will be visiting me at the funny farm.  Or joining me in the poor house.  Any ideas for distractions? 

NBHHY *

So my little attempt at being vague. . . . far less successful than I thought.  Now, that I am "outed" and the appropriate relatives have been told, let's have some questions and answers.  (And I promise this is not going to turn into one of "those" blogs--I still need this space to talk about my writing and distract me).

Q: NBHHY?
A: Nothing bad has happened yet. 

Q: Are you really p-----t?
A: Yes. I can't seem to say or type the word but, yes.

Q: How did you find out?
A: I kept feeling like my period was about to start, and start, and start for days.  Finally, with the help of a few PCOS gurus I decided I had a monster cyst going. I woke up Monday at 5:00 for the third day in a row with killer cramps, said "this is ridiculous" and took a test so that I could call Dr about cyst.  Minutes later, I was waking Freak up going "am I hallucinating?"

Q: How did Freak react?
A: "That's nice, I sleep now."  After he was awake, his excitement set in, but it didn't really kick in until the third brand of test agreed with the other two.

Q: Were you trying?
A: No. After the endocrinologist told us the chance was less than 10%, we stopped "trying" but didn't start preventing.

Q: Were you adopting?
A: Adopting was on hold due to money after the foot. Still, that was the game plan. 

Q: Did you get a blood test?
A: Uh huh. My doctor's office hates me already.  I got one, cried when I heard it was 550 and we were already 4 weeks, 1 day along.  Cried more when the second was 1100. 

Q: Are you having any symptoms?
A: The cramps.  The cramps terrify me.  I have a hard time believing this since the cramps keep screaming "period." Lower back ache. Tired.  Queasy.  Crazy bladder.  I've become . . .even more well-endowed.  Not exactly a bonus.   Acene. 

Q: How's the blood sugar?
A: After several low blood sugar readings, I've signed up for the eating every hour plan.  My endocrinologist  is thrilled saying, "Sometimes I'm wrong. I love to be wrong."

Q: How's the depression?
A: I had several long talks with my great doctor about what would happen if I got pregnant. She had me taking mega doses of folic acid "just in case" and after careful study of the literature, I'm going to continue my medication.  Other than being really scared, my moods are really good.

Q: Hey! Doesn't the character of your WIP get pregnant! How cool is that?
A: The day before I got the positive test, I finally finishing the "tortured" black moment where my character almost dies from a ectopic miscarriage. I keep telling myself that the universe would not be that cruel. However, all my research has me on a first name basis with the clinic nurse as I investigate all  twinges.

Q: How's the foot?
A: Out of the boot on Monday! No X-ray on Monday due to the news. 

Q: When are you telling work?
A: Let's get through the first 12 weeks first.  If we get that far, I'll just take a semester off. 

Q: "If we get that far"--is that seriously how you're finishing all sentences these days?
A: Yes. 

Q: How far is "far"?
A: Jan. 24 is first real OB appointment. Two weeks after that or so should be first ultrasound.  Right now that's as far as I'm thinking. I just want to see something on the screen. March 3rd is 12 weeks. That seems like  an awful  long time to have nothing go wrong.  There was some mention of something about Sept. 15---but I've got my fingers in my head going na na na na at that .

Q: Are the grandparents buying land in Oregon already?
A: No.  But, both  sides cried.  They're all cautiously optimistic like we are.  My brothers are really excited.

Q: Will this be the most knitted-for embryo in history?
A: No.  I did cast-on for a cushion in bright-shiny colors.  I'd like to knit  a lot more for the project, but I'm nervous about casting-on too soon. 

Q: Will you be having a home birth?
A: Birth? I just want to get to the first scan.  Hospitals are nice places with lots of nice glucose and blood sugar control methods handy.  I can see why *someone* might like a hospital. 

Q: We love your room re-do pictures? When will we get nursery pictures?
A: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Q: Are you happy? You don't sound happy?
A: I'm over the moon thrilled. I've never felt this giddy  before.  But I'm also scared. The thing about hanging out in the blogosphere with all the other PCOS cool kids, is that I know how much can go wrong. I'm trying to be so happy and optimistic but also not ignorant of the risk.  I do think that everything will be okay.  I just have a hard time saying that outloud.  Everything's going to be just fine.  September is going to be amazing. Just amazing.  I want to enjoy each day now, but the nerves . . . . .the nerves make it hard.  This kid is staying put till Sept. 15 or it's grounded. 

Holy Crap, We're going to be Parents! 

Other questions?

I am my own urban legend

This was supposed to be a post about how much I love my new teaching job (Which I do and which deserves it's own post just to tell you about how awesome this school is) and how my life is finally getting back to "normal."

BUT

Yes, Virginia, there really ARE Christmas miracles. Some of them just come a little . . .ahem . . . late. And give "normal" a whole new meaning. Of course, some miracles require a little more faith as you wait.   Have a little faith with me?

Best Books of 2006

70,000 words. On the Dark side of the moon right now, staring down the final four chapters or so.  And damn it feels good. I named the new laptop "8 percent."  Eight percent of all fiction writers make enough money to support themselves.  Eight percent.  I have to believe and seeing that as my login makes me believe. 

So I'm letting myself have a mini-break here and think about reading rather than writing.  (Or teaching. I start Monday and I can't tell you how ridiculously thrilled I am.) Eli had this great list of her top 10 books of 2006.  Not books written in 2006, but books she actually read.

Asking me to narrow down the 300 odd books I read last year is damn hard.  10 fiction? 10 non-fiction? Heck, just narrowing it down to 10 Suzanne Brockmann books would be hard. I look at my book shelves and feel like I'm choosing between my kids--surely I'm forgetting someone important.  But here it goes--my top ten list with notes. 

• The Unsung Hero by Suzanne Brockmann.
  
  • All of Suzanne Brockmann's books could be on the list. I read her entire backlist in a three month period.  But, this book was the first. It was the right book at the right time--I was finally on the verge of being able to write again.  I've learned so much from Brockmann about characterization, subplot, voice. Each book is like a mini-workshop and a damn good read.
• Marshall in Petticoats by Paty Jager.
  
  • I know (and love!) Paty, but this book is so much fun, I forgot I knew the author--it just drew me in and kept me up late.  It proves that you can combine sweet and sexy.  Prior to this book, I hadn't read a western romance in probably 10 years. This book got me reading westerns again and reminded me why they used to be one of my all-time favorite genres. 
• Vegan, Virgin, Valentine, by Carolyn Mackler.
  
  • I don't think I've ever listened to a book on tape twice before. This one was just that good. I read a lot of superb YA this year, but this one rose to the top easily--funny, great voice, characters that I can't get out of my head. 
• Standing in the Shadows by Shannon McKenna.
  
  • I discovered McKenna this year and quickly devoured her backlist as well. This was the book that hooked me on her. The heat is scorching, but it's the characters that make this such an enjoyable tale.
• Match Me if You Can, by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. 
  
  • I think I've re-read this book at least six times. Already. And used it as an example in bunches of discussions about writing. Fabulous pacing, great subplots, and funny. The heroine is so immediately likeable, you just want to hang on for the ride.
• Queen of Babble by Meg Cabot.
  
  • I read a lot of Meg Cabot this year too, but this was my favorite. I like the new voice she's showing off here--it's different than her other adult books and a lot fun. 
• Meditations for Women Who Knit Too Much, by Stephanie Pearl McPhee.
  
  • Everyone always raves about Elizabeth Zimmerman and how her writing about knitting is so down-to-earth and fun. I read Zimmerman this year too, and may she rest in peace, but McPhee is the real deal. I had this book from the library and I was really loathe to return it (after the maximum renewals). Deep belly laughs like this are a rare commodity.  You could read this without knowing a knitting needle from a crochet hook and still need to wipe your eyes from laughing so hard.
• The Devil to Pay, by Liz Carlyle.
  • I was kind off historical. Then I read this book. The plot is really stellar and fresh--I think that's what did it for me. None of the old cliches of swooning misses and big scary lords apply here. After this book I started looking for (and finding) other fresh historicals, but the voice and characters of this one keep coming back to me. 
• Bound by Sasha White
  • I got this book on a complete whim. It gobsmacked me. Not just because it's Emma Holly-esque-envelope pushing-jump off the page hotness, but because the voice is fresh and fun. I'd never bought an e-book before, but I was so eager to read her other ST that I bought (and read) it the next day. 
• Don't Look Down by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer.
  
  • When I heard that Crusie was writing with a GUY, I was more than a little skeptical. This book delivered though, and in a big way. Mayer adds another dimension to Crusie's work---it's still very much her voice here, but the suspense is a neat addition and the characters seem even more three-dimensional.

Phew. I have a cold sweat now. I must have neglected some very obvious books.  Off to go console the runners-up.  What were your favorite books you read in 2006?