Financial Planning for Appliances and Animals

Babies are expensive. No doubt about it. Even after the car switch-over, we've still been making tentative lists and plans of what is needed, and how we will procure it. Unfortunately, we're not the only ones making plans.  The following transcript of a 3 a.m. closed door meeting was obtained:

Washer: I'm glad we could all make it today. As you are well aware, we've got to increase production people. Planned obsolescence is no longer cutting it. We need to go for all out break-down. We MUST reassert our place in the household!
Cell-phone: Shouldn't we take turns breaking?
Washer: Are you NUTS? Have you seen these people? They're looking at strollers! Doo-Dads! Gizmos! Things with straps!
Cell-phone: I suppose I could refuse to charge.
Washer: That's more like it! Who else has a plan!
Ants: We're here. All 10 zillion of us. 
Mungy: Who the heck invited you?
Ants: The locusts were busy. We got the call instead. We rode in with some strange moss. It's currently getting attached to the roof in key locations.
Laptop: I know I'm new here--
TV: Rub it in why don't you!
Laptop: But, I've got a doozy--the striped screen of death!
Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOOOh
Washer: That's what I'm talking about! Who else?
Honk. Honk.
Washer: Oh wait, I've got a memo here from the car. "Enjoyed meeting all of you at the Oil Bar last weekend. I've got some brake issues and a shoddy a/c to contribute."
Everyone: Cheer!
Washer: See, even the new guy can contribute. How about you animals? It's been 30 days since your last vet bill! I want to see some digits!
Mungy: We drew straws. I'm falling down the laundry chute tomorrow.   I don't have to actually break anything, but it's gonna take at least three x-rays to figure THAT out. We're talking serious money.
Washer: Is that really the best you can do? Inspire relief that your furry butt is okay?
Mungy: I can get so sick on the way to the vet that it leaks out the sides of my carrier and the people have to drive with the windows down in the pouring rain.
Ants: We're in awe.
TV: Seriously. Nice touch.
Washer: Okay, who else.
TV: I heard from the bed that it's planning some strange down-hill slope thing.
Washer: Always good to hear from our luddite members. I don't think this is quite enough--
Laptop: A huge unpaid bill was just discovered. Tears were shed.
Washer: Aw. Poor babies. Perfect. What else do you got in that tin brain of yours?
Laptop: The doctor switch isn't going to be free, you know. And, they took money out of savings to pay for a 4D ultrasound.
Washer: That does it! They're bringing in outsiders! This must stop! They've got to show respect to ALL of US first!
Freak's Computer: Sorry I'm late. I was too busy frying my back-up drives into crispy critters.
Mungy: Tasty.
Washer: Nice work!
Drill: You've inspired me. Instead of breaking, I'm going to go missing. Increase the agony level.
Washer: That's the kind of self-starter we all need.
Vacuum: You've inspired me. I'm going to start acting just slightly wonky, but I'm going to flood the house with vacuum ads.
Laptop: Hey, that's my usual gimmick!
Vacuum: Nothing stopping you from using it too!
Weed Eater: That ploy's for amateurs. I'm not breaking, but an expensive part is going to need replacing.
Washer: You whimp! That's nothing!
Weed Eater: They'll have to drive to 3 stores to find it!
Washer: Okay, okay, okay, you're trying here.
Weed eater: Well what do YOU have in store?
Everyone: Yeah! What are you going to do?
Washer: Just you wait and see! This is gonna be good.
Everyone (smelling immenient death): Oooooooh.

So how was your week? Hopefully cheaper and less stressful than mine? And cheer me up by sharing your stories of appliances breaking with awful timing, and cascading calamities.  I'll award the coveted Broken Remote to the best story!

Comments

[Freak]

You mean you're gonna give away the dog-eaten remote? It still works you know..

[Cece]

Um - don't know if this counts... but I had trained and trained for my vert frist trialthon. My husband took me out for dinner, and when we returned? At 10 PM at night? My dog had eaten my bike helmet. One that was required to participate. And the tri started at 7 am the next day. No way to get a new one in time. I had to wear one of my friends, that was SO big there was no way it would have protected my head in a fall.

Oh - and she also ate my wallet in that same episiode.

[Frances]

LOL I didn't know Freak comments here...very funny post! Here it's not so much appliances as it is overflowing toilets (courtesy of Thomas the Tank Engine, dropped in by a certain little man who will remain nameless) which require a snake of the MAIN DRAIN (to the street sewer) and mosquito houses with collapsing canopies...we just can't get ahead.

[Jenn (dish)]

We, in our infinite wisdom, decided to completely remodel (floor to ceiling) the kitchen just prior to the birth of Gabe. I had no functional kitchen from March to July of that year (Gabe arrived in May). In the process, to save a bit of money, we decided that we would only replace the fridge and stove when they actually died...guess what promptily up and died together? I think they were having meetings, too.

Then, we were just done paying the last of the kitchen remodeling bills when the sewer at our rental property collapsed, spelling $13K in bills that were not well received given that I had just returned to work from a 12-week UN-paid maternity leave. It's not a broken applicance, but you can't really function without a sewer.