Life is a Banquet

Help me, Rhonda, Help, Help Me . . .

Oh dear! Stood up again!
Originally uploaded by wavybrains.

I'm driving myself crazy trying to find a YA that I don't remember the title or the author to. On the off chance that the internets might be able to help me out.

Published prior to 1997, and probably after 1988. It begins on a girl's first day of high school, and it follows her "forbidden" attraction to a much older boy, one of her brothers friends. It spans her entire high school career, and it was written in the first person with beautiful prose. It's quite lengthy for YA. The paperback cover had snow, and I think a bridge on it. Christmas plays a prominent role in the book, and the book ends on Christmas, with the girl finally, in her senior year getting together with the love interest. He takes her on drive tour of houses and finally confesses his feelings. There's a house that smells like gingerbread. She's a cross-country runner, and also an artist/writer/into theater. She goes to art camp and running camp in the summers, and has a couple of minor relationships that fizzle due to her obsession with the older guy, who clearly has feelings for her but keeps his distance. He's a swimmer.

Is this triggering anything for anybody? Anybody? Anybody?

Fiction versus Nonfiction

Sometimes I drown myself in so much research that I totally forget that a good argument has nothing to do with facts and figures. Two very different pieces of writing have proven this to me in the last two days.

First up, Julia Spencer-Fleming's amazing Out of the Deep I Cry. This series is so addictive--much like Suzanne Brockmann's work, just a completely different genre. Without giving too much of the plot away, vaccinations play a huge role in this book. I struggled and struggled with this issue while pregnant, and before each doctor's visit, I often feel like I'm spinning the huge wheel of Lesser Evil. We've chosen to fully vaccinate (minus the Hep B at birth and chicken pox), but we've been doing one shot a month. I read The Vaccination Book, What Your Doctor Won't Tell You, and oh, about 4 dozen websites and message boards. Around here, many families choose not to vaccinate at all, so I often feel like I'm swimming upstream on this issue. I try to use all my facts and figures to keep my consience warm at night, but nothing has struck me as viscerally as this book did. THIS is why vaccinations are so important, and why they are such an emotionally charged topic. This is what the best fiction is capable of--it takes your stance on something, and instead of hitting the issue over and over like a hand drum, it plays it out symphonically until it resonates on a much broader level.

Next up, the man who changed how I think about food, Michael Pollan, is back with a fabulous New York Times piece, The Farmer in Chief. THIS is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking we desperately need right now, and I'm almost (almost) willing to write him in as president as both candidates seem too busy fighting over the same box to even contemplate the wide world of possiblities over yonder. My fondest hope is that the next president does indeed work to change the culture of food. The very best nonfiction reads as smoothly as fiction and presents a compelling narrative that makes you forget that there's an agenda lurking behind it.

Blog Tour: 30 days to Natural

I'm delighted to be a part of Mom Central's blog tour for 30 days to Natural, a campaign by Clorox GreenWorks to take simple steps to living more natural lives. The best part of this tour is the box of samples I just recieved! With Heckell and Jeckell, the toddler years, running amok around here, it's become apparent that cleaning will be my millstone for oh . . .the next 10 YEARS or so. And with Gretel (she left Hansel with the witch) leaving trails of goldfish behind her, investigating the dog's water, and putting everything she can find into her mouth, REAL cleaning has become a top priority. Real cleaning as in mop & pail, sponges, dust pans, the works, as opposed to my favority type of cleaning: reorganizing, where things LOOK clean, but no one get wet.

I just can't see using my old standby, softscrub, with a baby and two pets in the house, so I've been doing a lot of hot water cleaning with a dash of baking soda & vinegar mixed in. Now I know my hippy sisters are about to riot on me here--but things just aren't THAT clean with water. A dirty film remains, even with vinegar rinses, and mopping with vinegar alone seems to leave a lot of dirt behind, and it gets dirty again really quick.

Today was cleaning central around here because I'm having a swap party this weekend (Get your head out of the gutter--this is munchies and trading of baby and women's clothing--totally awesome GREEN idea that should be one of the 30 tips ;)). My friend Laura and I have started trading cleaning time--she takes both kids for a walk, and I clean or vice versa. So, I cracked open my new stash, and WOW!!!!!

I can't believe how sparkling my house is, and how easy it all was. My mopping time was easily half of what it is with hot water and vinegar, and the floors look amazing. The bathroom is finally REALLY clean, including the removal of icky (and inevitable in Oregon) mildew stains around the tub. The best part is that my eyes aren't burning, my hands aren't red, and my house doesn't smell like a pesticide plant exploded in here. I just wish that they made wipe cleansers like Method does--I guess the wipes aren't techincally "green," but they're my go-to cleaners in the bathroom, and I'm not sure if I'll be dragging the bottle and sponge out when Laura's not here to occupy Miss Inquistive.

My part of the tour is just to tell you about the 30 days to Natural website and how you can recieve easy, timesaving tips to slowly greening your life, but I couldn't help but rave about these cleaners too! If you've resisted green cleaners because of the price or because "natural" cleaners just don't cut it for you, you might give these a try.

Life of the party

Best Present Ever!
Originally uploaded by wavybrains.

I feel like I'm drowning in to-dos, but I'm trying to do a better job of sitting back and watching this time unfold. In the last 3 weeks, 3 babies have turned one. Three friends I did not have before last year, and yet, my life would be so empty in their absence that I would be remiss if I did not stop to acknowledge the gift of their presence in my life.

One of the neatest gifts of sharing this time with other families at the same stage is watching my child emerge from the cocoon of my preconceptions about who she would be. She is a social butterfly, free from my own anxieties. She thrives on social situations and has already learned the art of partying--leave the stress of toddlerhood at the door, and be yourself. She visibly relaxes in the party environment--fewer tantrums, less nursing, more snacking, less clinging, and just enjoys the moment, totally uncaring of what others may be thinking.

She steals sippy cups, eschews birthday cake, blithely borrows toys, explores new houses (she's quite the little snoop), demands "di-eye-purr" (it sounds more burr-pee to the unsophisticated ear), and makes herself at home, confident that she'll be accepted and welcomed--and totally right.

I'm so unbelievably lucky to get to watch this unfurling--challenging as it is--because I'm never far from the knowledge that I wasn't sure we'd ever be here and the realization that other parents have far greater challenges than a one-year old whose demands for independence are overwhelming.

It's awe inspiring to witness this group of babies go from carried babies riding in moby wraps to sit-n-play babies to exploring demons to these new walking-babbling cavemen who can play with each other in rudimentary ways. Time doesn't stand still for me to process it all--much as I might like it to, and I'm trying to be right here with it.

Toddlerhood. Teaching. Send Chocolate.

Ms. Joe Cool
Originally uploaded by wavybrains.

I've got so many posts rattling around in my head, yet only lesson plans shake loose. The last few weeks have been a blur of syllabus, prep, and oh-my-god-daddy-has-Tavy-for-FIVE-hours-on-Wednesday-nights. FIVE hours. And, hey, I'm teaching TWO classes, which means FIFTY lovely, smiling faces all with essays to grade.

Breathe.

This whole mothering/working thing seems harder right now than it was in the winter and spring. Perhaps because I had fewer classes and students, but I think the real reason is that the attack of the toddler hadn't yet occurred. When I was single, well-meaning parents would try to talk me out of childbearing by talking about the newborn stage. Here's a tip: If you REALLY want to give people reason to renew that BC prescription, let them spend a few hours with a one-year old.

And I love, love, love my baby. To pieces tinier than the goldfish she leaves in her wake, but lordy, lordy this stage is HARD. And it's kicking my butt. Keeping Tavy happy is a full-time job and a half, and if I didn't have my brother (economy sucks! send new jobs, please!) helping me, I think I'd be drowning in it right now.

She goes, goes, goes, and is happiest when she has a wide open space in front of her. I should have seen the writing on the wall back in December when she went from rolling over to rolling across the room in a matter of days--this child won't be stopped. But her newfound freedom brings with it alternating winds of clinging and separation anxiety, and frustration. We've got a textbook Brazelton touchpoint happening over here, people.

Breathe.

I think as the semester progresses this will get easier. I'll figure out how to be a toddler mother AND grade AND prep AND breathe. Right? Right?

(P.S. tons more crazy Tavy pics on flickr).