Ode to Uncle Nanny

Even before recent events, I've been in a bit of a funk the last couple of months. Nothing as bad as depressions of yore, but I didn't really realize it until I looked around and realized ta gray pallor that had descended since Uncle Nanny abandoned us for the bright lights and big city. Sure, he's a measly hour's drive away. A drive that I don't make without Freak. And a drive that he requires public transportation for (and given recent cutbacks, an act of God). But, I miss him. And, he doesn't read my blog, but I want to give him a shout out anyway. Next Sunday is all about the Dads, but I'm hereby declaring tomorrow Fabulous Uncle Day. 

I miss the routine we had going. I was really nervous about him moving out here. After all, the last time we shared living quarters he was a quirky 12 year old who couldn't keep his junior high locker combination straight. And the last few years have had their ups and downs for both of us, and neither of us is great on the phone. But, he came, and it was full of awesome as he jumped right into Tavy's life with unbridled enthusiasm. She was just learning to walk, and he would lead her around. And around. And around. He patiently sorted flash cards with her, hunted for baby baby, and played telephone. Their natural rapport after just the first week made my heart hurt.

I actually miss the time before he found work. I miss the quiet afternoons with just the three of us. I miss the time I spent grading or working on class prep with them playing on the floor of my office. I miss the spontaneous trips to the store and downtown. He made me see my city with fresh eyes. Also, his eyes were my eyes reflecting a shared history that made me instantly realize that Tavy needs a sibling so that she can experience what it is like to be with someone who gets you on that level.

I miss his love of my cooking, and his willingness to whip my kitchen into shape. My house has deteriorated in recent weeks. Thanks to MoxieClean I'm finding my MoJo again, and just makes me appreciate him all the more. I miss how he finds everything amazing from gluten free pizza to Weeds to Tavy's first real words. He watched her become a toddler each day, and I will always associate this time in our lives with his living here.

We spent a beautiful memorial day with him, and its obvious that he's thriving in the urban environment. He's a city guy, and this was never going to be a long term thing. Our relationship is evolving into something new, and its still wonderful--he shows us greek grocery stores, and we show him state parks that we hadn't explored before. Tavy soaks up each visit with him and talks about him constantly. Today she was experimenting with three word sentences, and they all involved him. Nanny {she says his actual name} eat food! Nanny go Big YaYa! Nanny eat soup! {which sounds suspiciously like a curse} Nanny go outside! Nanny go bye! Nanny eat rock! {she's all about learning rules right now}. Nanny clean up! {Thanks for giving me credit, kid} Nanny phone Mama! {All this stemmed from ONE voicemail message} {Don't ask why I'm loving brackets today} She runs to his door every so often, and I want to weep at her hopefulness. She sobs when she first sees him now, like a kid being picked up from daycare because it is finally safe to express those emotions. I have hope that their special bond will continue.

When I saw the love of the family who surrounded the grieving parents this parent, I was struck anew by how precious my family is. Those near and those flung far. Two years ago, I was alone here, craving biological connection. Now, I am doubly blessed. And I've resolved to work on affirming our connections and establishing new traditions as we work out what it means to be a family without an elder to guide us. I also have my family of choice, the friends who surround me, and I'm glad that Uncle Nanny gets to see this me too.

Here's to you, Uncle Nanny. I miss you. I'm so happy and proud of you. You are turning into the most amazing adult. You are living your dream and creating new ones, and I'm your biggest cheerleader. My dishes still miss you though.

Comments

[Katie B.]

*sniff*

I wish we had an Uncle Nanny... but we have other things. I suppose. You are blessed.

[Loretta Dreyfus]

Matty is a true treasure! Beth, you are so lucky to have such a interactive brother, plus you have another brother in reserves, for some sibling time rambling down memory lane. As we get older we tend to appreciate things about our families that were not so warm and fuzzy when we were younger. Make every effort to see Matt and invite him over often because you all need the company and interaction. I've got 3 brothers and we hardly seem close at all these days.SIGH! Loved this blog BTW, Love you too, Auntie Laurie