Life is a Banquet

Thank you

Thank you to everyone who shared their good wishes with Freak and I.  More photos will be forthcoming soon.  I so appreciate everyone's best wishes :) 

Vows*

Wavybrains and Freak were married yesterday, March 12, 2005, on a covered bridge in downtown Silverton, Oregon.  A judge from the Oregon Court of Appeals officiated

Mrs. Wavybrains Freak, 26, is the creator of little-read blogs of great self-importance,  “Life is a Banquet” and “Cultivate This.” She is a big loser and frequent contributor to the Fat Flush Forum, where she tries to convince others to become big losers too.  In her spare time, she is a minimally compenstated government attorney and occasionally possesses illusions of being a writer.  The bride owes her degrees to Sallie Mae, Inc., where she will also be shipping her first, second, and third born children in an attempt to repay the price of the initials on her business card. 

The bride is the daughter of Clanna and Big Al, of East Jesus, Illinois.  The bride’s overworked father has a very large title and a very small salary at a community college. After sharing her love of reading with her three children, the bride’s mother is now a librarian in Even Further East Jesus, Illinois.         

Mr. Freak, 32, is a self-made wonder who has talked himself into every job he’s had, and managed to outshine those with paper qualifications. He currently works as a lead computer programer, managing a development team in Portland, Oregon.  He'd have to kill you if he told you what he did while in the Navy. He is the creator of two, seldom-used blogs, an avid Age of Mythology player, will soon receive his yellow-belt in Kung Fu, and is the creator of the Church of Freak. 

The bridegroom is a son of Nurse Answer and Step-Officer and Father Cop.  His mother put herself through Nursing school and supported three boys as an Emergency room nurse before moving on in recent years to work in insurance and answering all of Freak and Wavybrain’s health questions.  His step father is a beloved fixture as a police officer for a large public university.  The groom’s father is a retired police officer. 

Wavybrains and Freak were introduced by a mutual friend who failed to explain that he had decided that the couple was perfect for each other. 

Because it was the exact wrong moment to begin a new relationship, Wavybrains resisted Freak’s overtures for approximately 48 hours before consenting to being introduced as his girlfriend.  Still wary of being in a “relationship,” it was four months later on the covered bridge in Silverton, Oregon when Wavybrains finally confessed her true feelings and the relationship became more serious as the couple moved in together. A year later, and she was still trying to break up with Freak on a semi-regular basis, certain that poor timing had doomed the couple to failure. 

However, Wavybrains’ heart knew what it wanted and would not allow her feet to leave. In between long crying sessions and crises of identity, the couple managed to forge a strong partnership as they weathered a cross-country move, the acquisition of four pets, the death of Freak’s cat, job loss, Wavybrains’ ongoing health issues, three moves in less than a year, the purchase of a house, dealing with ex-significant others, family crises, and having no furniture.

It was the having no furniture that nearly did them in, but after surviving all this, the couple decided that they were already married to each other in spirit and in deed.  They proposed to each other in front of sunflowers they grew in front of their home. After surviving an attack of bridezilla, and negotiating a truce between the feline and canine family members, the couple decided to marry before a piano fell on their car or a plague of locusts descended on them. 

They were married on the same bridge in Silverton, Oregon where they took their first steps towards becoming a family.  The Freak Family will temporarily reside here.

* We didn’t quite make the cut for this page, and since we can’t possibly understand why not, we assume that numerous apologies will be forthcoming.  But, if you can't join them, spoof them!

The Bridelight Zone

It is 11 am on a Saturday morning, and it is far to early to be assaulted by the smell of unidentified evening perfume, the kind that intoxicates a entire room in a single waft of cloying Shalimar-scented air. The fact that the perfume has reached us out here in the ticket line almost makes the Golden Marionette and I turn back and head for the dog park instead.

After all, at the dog park, we are not slapped with labels as soon as we exit the car.  We both hesitate when the “greeter” asks us if we are brides-to-be. G.M. instinctively knows that this is a trick question. I am more optimistic. “What do I get if I am?” I envision goodie bags with bath product samples and free lip gloss.

I am sadly mistaken. For my honesty, I receive a loud, 72 point type-face beacon announcing to every vendor that I am easy prey. My last name does not matter. Just my first name, and my wedding date. Seeing as I am at this Bridezilla convention with the sum total of the guest list, the vendors are about to be sadly disappointed.

Wavybrains Wedding: Invitations

So Clanna had the brilliant idea of my putting wedding dresses up for votes.  Yeah, kind of like the today show thing where the viewers vote among equally hideous hair-do's and stuff. 

Each Monday, I'll put up something new for you to weigh in on.  I still get the final vote, of course, but let's have some fun. Things to keep in mind: The wedding will have light  Irish/Celtic overtones.  The colors are going to be Green, Gold, and an accent color of light pink.  Our relationship symbol is theButterfly.  The wedding will be out of doors, and we are doing almost all of it ourselves.

So without further ado, I present to you this week's item w/ ten choices: The invitation.

Have Marriage, Need Wedding

What makes a couple “married?” Freak and I are still trying to decide how to get married. Which brings up some very interesting philosophical questions. What does it mean to be married? We have a house together, are gradually combining finances, have joint plans for the future, and consider each other in our financial decisions. We are each other’s next of contact on emergency forms, and the vet, the cable company, the furnace man, and the home warranty people consider us one unit. I’ve been mistakenly called Mrs. Freak more times than I can count. 

I know that he chooses me. Kids have gone from being an “if” proposition to a “when” assumption. I know in my bones that this man will make a wonderful father, that he will always have my best interests at heart, and that being here is an extension of his core self. I know that what we are building is what we both want very badly–Christmas trees, and family dinners. Backrubs and movie nights. So what more do we need to be married?

Warning: Wedding Magazines Can Be Hazardous To Your Health!

I blame the wedding industry for the fact that my elbow is currently encased in a most unfashionable beige brace and chilling in a bowl of ice and water. A sane person might ask why I don’t place the blame on a broken hammock, the boyfriend who swung the hammock back and forth, or the bolt that came loose, but any woman who has ever succumbed to the siren song of bridal magazines will understand why I am blaming the entire wedding industry.

It sparkles . . .

Like every other ring I’ve ever had, this ring keeps sliding around to my palm. The curse of having big knuckles, I guess. It looks so out of place with my mangy nails and dirty hands from playing with the puppy. I still can’t believe its real. I can’t believe he really asked me. I can’t believe I said yes. I can’t believe he actually surprised me with a ring.

Everything’s spinning so fast right now. It’s like the universe is finally lined up for me, showing me that I’m on the right path. I love having Scientist with us now, I love being able to share stuff like pots and pans, and meals, just like I have always wanted. I love this puppy so much. We’ve built so much so fast, its just amazing. Some times I feel like I have to pinch myself that this is real, this really is my life.

And it’s all because we do things OUR way.  My ring is a simple pearl and gold, because I did not want diamonds or gaudy big weapons. Our wedding is going to be like our life—casual, fun, with room for everyone, real clothes, real food, real life.

Still I can’t believe the fun I’m having right now . . . .