Life is a Banquet

Site Remodeling & Poll

*Feedback in action--Thanks to the great feedback I've gotten, I've widened the text box, increased the typefont, and added a handy word count counter. Thanks for all the suggestions!*

I'm pleased to unveil my latest skin. And, if you're not reading this on bloglines, you'll notice the BIG change. Yes, that's my name up there for the world to see.  I thought about this long and hard--so many people are going to password only sites or retreating further into blogland anonymity--but truth be told, I've always pretty much put myself out there. Wavybrains has always been reachable by my name urls as well and most of my family are among my lurkers--the difference is in putting my name on the masthead and deciding that this will be my permanent author site--not just a placeholder for the domain names. 

I've tried to streamline things, added feeds from the other two blogs I participate in, and have given the book reviews more room to grow.  I'm not done with the remodel quite yet, but I'm pretty pleased with how it's shaping up.  What do you think of the new look? Love it? Hate it? Dig the logo? 

And now for the quiz, which is one I've wanted to have for a while now, and now that I'm fessing up the name thing, I finally can.

So my full name is Bethany Cecilia Cunningham Gabbert.  No publisher in their right mind is going to slap that on a book. A law book perhaps (it looks smashing on my articles) but, a young adult book? A romantic comedy? I own and am prepared to buy a few other domain names in the search for the right author name. So cast your votes: What pseudo works for you:

1. Cecilia Roberts (my current favorite--my middle name plus Freak's)
2. Cecilia Mahoney (family last name)
3. Bethany Cunningham (I hate the Cunningham, but using the maiden name is very popular among authors)
4. Cecilia Coffey (another family last name)
5. Bethany Bartlett (Yet another family last name)
6. Cecilia Kane (yes, my family tree has tons of great last names).

Weigh in on the website re-do and the great pseudo debate!

This, That, and the Other

This:  I'm now part of a group writing blog.  This feels like a very productive use of blogging time.

That: Dawn has a even better idea for productive blogging. 

The Other:  I finally sent my first query letter for the book.  Someone hold me while I throw up, please. After so many months of not writing, if it took going through the depression, breaking my foot, and loosing my job to get me to the this point, I have to say: it was worth it.  The last few weeks have been nothing short of a godsend.  I feel like a walking poster child for my particular medication, because it is WORKING, but more importantly, so I am.   I have to say, at the risk of sounding like a blogging heritic, that dealing with my internet addiction may be the biggest factor in my new productivity and outlook on life. I'm planning for NaNoWriMo, but I'm taking the writing in slow, manageable chunks right now. I'm also selling some articles which helps with the whole no-job thing.

The Other Other: Freak is struggling right now. I can't go into too much detail here, but Freak is dealing with some health issues that have taken a major toll.  Please think good thoughts for him as he has some upcoming tests and Dr's visits.   

Quid Pro Quo and Question

In case you care about such things as blogrolls, I've just spent some time cleaning mine up. I went from 193 feeds to 114 feeds, and I'm still paring. If you read me, and I'm not reading you, please leave a comment.

I want to keep an ongoing dialogue with my readers, but I HAVE to deal with my out-of-control internet addiction. The blogs I have cut are all great blogs, but they are ones with whom I don't feel that ongoing connection. My new criteria, as I cut back, is to keep blogs with whom I have or can establish a sense of dialogue--of a two way street.  There are so many GREAT blogs out there, that I often feel overwhelmed--like I can never read enough or like I need to read so much more.  So blogs who read me, and blogs with a dialogue.  It's a start.  And STILL I feel guilty for cutting.

Which leads me to my next question:
How do you deal with YOUR internet addiction? How do you limit how much time you spend on blogs? Do you have any tips for cutting back or limiting the time sucking factor? Any tips at all?

P.S. Don't forget to answer my last question about living far away from family if you get a chance!

Updates and Books! Books!

I've finally updated the book list with some of my recent reads, for those of you who keep track of such things. 

Also, I was one of the lucky winners of Chicago Mama's  recent book give-a-way.  Books, right when I needed more reading material.  Janet Evanovich in hardcover! Score! Chicago Mama rocks.  More bloggy types should clean out their basements.  :) :) Also, fellow RWA member Lisa is bringing me some books tonight, and Clanna is arriving, which means more books.  I'm in Wavybrain's heaven.  Now, if only it were easier to knit AND read at the same time.  Preferrably while sleeping.  :) :) 

Back From the Future

Perhaps there will reach a point when I can't do this anymore, when I don't yearn for this outlet, don't miss it at all.   This isn't that point. 

I took a hiatus over the Spring because I started teaching.  In my new teacher prim-and-proper mindset, I took the blog offline because I was afraid of my students finding the blog, afraid of them seeing the "real me."  I have never been an anonymous blogger--more like semi-cloistered.  I see the problems my friends with anonymous blogs have run into, and that's just not me.  I hang it all out there.

Over the winter, I had some sage advice that perhaps I didn't want to be hanging it all out there where others could see it so easily, that my WYSIWYG persona just didn't fit the staid confines of Academia.   The giver(s) of this advice had my best interests at heart I am sure, and they were worried about my reputation, about appearances.   I've been contemplating a comeback for sometime.  Then Frances's post about WYSIWYG sent me over the edge.   

I stopped blogging about food because I didn't want to admit what a shambles that had become, what gaping ugliness remained behind.

I stopped blogging about writing when I hit a wall of self-doubt and pity. 

I stopped blogging about my life when I received repeated advice that I was simply too honest, that I put too much out there, that what I talked about was simply TMI and not "professional."  Blogging was unsuitable for a future author or professor. 

Before that, there were people I didn't talk to, friendships I let putter out, never begin, because I could not face my own truth.  I did not talk to my mother much for a few years for the same reason.  My truth scared me. 

I tried various ways to fill the hole blogging left behind.  So I blogged about my one "acceptable" topic: knitting.   I put pictures up on Flickr.  I tried writing letters to the child I hope to have soon. But, I felt stymied every time I felt my personality slipping though.  Is it too much to talk about my husband? To mention my problems? My health? 

I thought about coming back anonymously.  I know what few readers I had (10? 20?) have moved on. It would be relatively simple to start again, different URL, same me.  But, this is simply not me.  I write primarily for myself, and I have spent too long hiding from me.  I write the truth I cannot always speak aloud for my family, my friends, those closest to me.  Many of of whom choose not to read the blog, are bored by my monologues or simply lack the time--but I do not want to hide the existence of this part of me, living in fear of discovery, of being "shut down."

The truth is, I have a done a pretty darn good job of shutting myself down.  I don't need any help in that department.  I have spent the bulk of my 27 years not mentioning the various white elephants in the room.  I have told little white lies, and I have run from myself, over and over and over again. 

I do not flatter myself that one woman sharing her truth about her crazy-normal life will make a difference.  It will not make me rich.  It will not land me a blog-to-book deal.  It will not garner me legions of adoring fans.  It does not make me a better person or even a better writer.  But, what it makes me is honest.  Honest.  And, that my friends is reason enough to keep being here.     When I write, I see myself differently and I like what I see even when I see the raw gritty truth staring back at me.  This is why I am back.   

Remember Me?

Hey remember me? I’m the one who started November full of piss and vinegar and have emerged on the other end full of piss and something else. So how did it all go? Hey look over there—new Flickr photos! Dogs in shirts!

Turkeys

!! What you still want to know about ME? Well, all my Christmas shopping is done save for *Freak* but I know what that is. And I have piles of lovely knitting. . . .

No really, you want to know about NaNoWriMo? I’m at around 27,000 words and stalled right now. By choice. My finished novel now has a synopsis and is in the mail for the Golden Heart competition and is *this* much closer to going out the door to an actual live editor. I’m thrilled with how much I got done on the NaNoWriMo novel, and I fully expect to hit 50,000 soon. Just not by tomorrow night. Trying to do Golden Heart AND NaNoWriMo IS possible.

But not if you also have an identity crisis, the flu, and are fighting the kind of inertia that only other work-from-home isolationists can understand. The identity crisis is actually pretty simple. It’s the same one I’ve been having since my third year of law school. I want to be a writer not a lawyer. But, oh, I have bills to pay. So how to do both? I continue to sell articles and am in the process of marketing my legal services to other creative persons. . . but the guilt over my chosen path is actually MOST if not ALL of my “crisis.” The “I shoulds” and “I coulds” have a tendency to suck my days right in. 

Freak is dealing with his own crisis of being at the moment, which makes my crisis more relevant—we need a steady source of income, but I want to be a writer and he wants to be an artist. And eventually, it will all work out, Ma in her kerchief and Pa in his cap . . . wait. Wrong story. Anyway. Eventually, things will settle down, the credit card debit will disappear and we will come to trust in the universe a little more. 

I’m afraid I’m fresh out of blogging mojo . . . but hey! Pictures! (And book reviews coming soon . . . LOTS of new books to talk about!). 

It will all be over soon . . .

Someday soon I will emerge from my cave and tell you all about the glamour of doing NaNoWriMo (22,000 words and going) while trying to start one's own law practice while helping one's spouse through an early mid life crisis while ones pet discovers a fetish for TV remotes while one adjusts to new diabetes medication.  Today is not that day. 

Someday I will also add more bookreviews as I have a ton stacking up. Today is not that day. 

But today is sunny, beautiful, and 25,000 words is just around the corner . . . 

Wavybrains tells all . .

So, ergonomic solutions aplenty have I, including Dragon, a new spilt keyboard, and a very empty bank account. My tendonitis is slowly getting better, although I will have to be disciplined to keep it that way. Boring stuff out of the way, let’s have some of the great gossip and rumors swirling around Casa Wavybrains these days. 

 

1) A certain ponytailed heartthrob is about to embark on a major life change. This ponytailed hottie is swapping keyboards for schoolbooks and halo for paintbrushes? Can it be? And what does this mean for his buxom lass?  Stay tuned . . .  

2) A wannabe novelist was spotted reaching 15,000 words on her NaNoWriMo entry, although her golden heart entry appears to be missing in action. 

3) A little black feline has strayed from his happy home. This nad-less tomcat was last spotted on Saturday. His mournful shadow has been seen hitting the fancy feast in recent days, and his canine love bunny is keeping the hope alive by scouring the bushes and barking at closed doors. 

4) Someone over-taxed their roomba, necessitating an early morning visit to Target, phone calls to Irobot, and many Freak-ish heart palpitations. All is apparently well as in recent days the roomba has been spotted out and around eating cell phone chargers and dragging socks through the fireplace. 

5) A scooba is on the way! That’s right. A little bundle of joy is expected in eight to ten weeks. The bump on the credit card is just beginning to show. 

6) Sssh! That might be the sound of chalk on a chalkboard and an apple for teacher! Keep your fingers crossed and stay tuned. 

7) Love is in the Air! Mr. 37 inches closer to bringing his lady-love from

China

here, and the Scientist has a mysterious someone who is loved by all, especially the black beasts of the household. 

8) Rumor has it that a certain Wavy person is about to have a birthday . . . in NY! Yes, folks you heard it here first. There will be a huge shin-dig at Nana’s place, complete with sugar-free ice-cream and low sodium meats.  

9) On a more somber note, pills have been popping with new frequency and blood has been let. Our sources at the endrocrinologist’s office tell us that a certain blogger’s PCOS and diabetes is not behaving. Condolences on the loss of more carbs is appreciated. 

10)  Desks were spotted leaving the basement a few weeks ago. We have concluded that certain work-from home persons have moved out of their pink offices for the SAD season. 

 

Be sure to keep reading . . .Wavybrains tells all.*

*Many apologies for falling down the email replying front--will be trying to use Dragon more.  Your comments have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.  Also, even if I comment less, I am still reading my blogroll.  Your juicy gossip is duly noted! 

New Book Reviews up!

Bunch o' new book reviews now up (look to your right)!  (Thanks to Chris for reminding me to get caught up--check out his September recomendations too)

Back to School Wardrobe

Bit late of course . . . but I had to have a new look for fall.  This is my first go at doing my own site using MT rather than typepad for design.  I'm learning lots . . even if I do want to pull my hair out at times.  Let me know what you think.